Feminists are 'Man-Haters'? Misinterpretation and Misconceptions of Feminism
When I was back in Lancaster, in the rainy North West of England, in my very first Gender and Women's Studies seminar, we were asked the question 'who of you would describe yourselves as feminists?'.
I remember giving an awkward 'yes', even though I would have loved to explain all about how I believed in the equality of the sexes and genders and therefore would describe myself as a feminist - but I recognise the privilege I have as a white woman, and also how the phrase 'feminist' itself is extremely problematic and can lead to misconceptions of what it is to be a feminist. But no one wants to be that person.
When everyone had just about stopped yawning after my shitty answer, the girl next to me said 'no'.
A few people looked around at each other.
There was an unspoken then why are you here then? amongst the class.
She looked around the room, brows furrowed.
The seminar leader asked, 'Okay, that's fine. Why is that?'.
She answered 'Because I'm not a man-hater.'.
Silence.
The class looked shocked.
I fixed my eyes on the desk in front of me, and the class quickly moved on.
The thing is, we all reacted so poorly to this - including the tutor, who almost ignored it. We should of asked her why she felt that the definition of a feminist is a 'man-hater' - because that is so flawed.
I decided to look into this a little bit more, and so I decided to look at the comments on a pro-feminist video on YouTube entitled 'Why Feminism is Good For Men' (which you can watch here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHzlFYQwpJo). However, whilst searching even for this video, I came across videos entitled 'Feminist Cringe Compilation' and 'Feminism is Dumb', which seem to have completely misinterpreted the notion of sexual and gender equality. ANYWAY - the comments on the video say things such as:
This is just my speculation - but it seems to me that these people are projecting their experience of individuals onto, not just women as a whole, but specifically feminists - assuming that all feminists are a) women, and b) heterosexual.
In some cases (such as the last comment), it seems to me that this could simply be a product of (something also often assumed to be ignored by feminist discussions) toxic masculinity - old-fashioned and stereotypical assumptions and expectations of men that have been blown waaay out of proportion. I have had many conversations with men and women about feminism in which people have said to me - 'yes but, men also suffer from gender expectations and 'rules', it's not just women'. YES! That's true - 100%. That's why the term 'feminism' is so problematic to me; it refers to the campaign for the equality of the sexes - both of them - but the prefix 'fem' makes people assume that it applies only to women, where it simply represents the word's etymology and roots in women's rights, where it was coined.
Tadah!
Anyway, I just think it's beyond important to recognise that modern perceptions of feminism can be hugely affected by misinterpretation.
Having written a little on toxic masculinity in this piece, I feel the need to recommend literally anything by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.
You can buy the quintessential We Should All Be Feminists here:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/We-Should-All-Be-Feminists/dp/0008115273
I remember giving an awkward 'yes', even though I would have loved to explain all about how I believed in the equality of the sexes and genders and therefore would describe myself as a feminist - but I recognise the privilege I have as a white woman, and also how the phrase 'feminist' itself is extremely problematic and can lead to misconceptions of what it is to be a feminist. But no one wants to be that person.
When everyone had just about stopped yawning after my shitty answer, the girl next to me said 'no'.
A few people looked around at each other.
There was an unspoken then why are you here then? amongst the class.
She looked around the room, brows furrowed.
The seminar leader asked, 'Okay, that's fine. Why is that?'.
She answered 'Because I'm not a man-hater.'.
Silence.
The class looked shocked.
I fixed my eyes on the desk in front of me, and the class quickly moved on.
The thing is, we all reacted so poorly to this - including the tutor, who almost ignored it. We should of asked her why she felt that the definition of a feminist is a 'man-hater' - because that is so flawed.
I decided to look into this a little bit more, and so I decided to look at the comments on a pro-feminist video on YouTube entitled 'Why Feminism is Good For Men' (which you can watch here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHzlFYQwpJo). However, whilst searching even for this video, I came across videos entitled 'Feminist Cringe Compilation' and 'Feminism is Dumb', which seem to have completely misinterpreted the notion of sexual and gender equality. ANYWAY - the comments on the video say things such as:
This is just my speculation - but it seems to me that these people are projecting their experience of individuals onto, not just women as a whole, but specifically feminists - assuming that all feminists are a) women, and b) heterosexual.
In some cases (such as the last comment), it seems to me that this could simply be a product of (something also often assumed to be ignored by feminist discussions) toxic masculinity - old-fashioned and stereotypical assumptions and expectations of men that have been blown waaay out of proportion. I have had many conversations with men and women about feminism in which people have said to me - 'yes but, men also suffer from gender expectations and 'rules', it's not just women'. YES! That's true - 100%. That's why the term 'feminism' is so problematic to me; it refers to the campaign for the equality of the sexes - both of them - but the prefix 'fem' makes people assume that it applies only to women, where it simply represents the word's etymology and roots in women's rights, where it was coined.
Anyway, I just think it's beyond important to recognise that modern perceptions of feminism can be hugely affected by misinterpretation.
Having written a little on toxic masculinity in this piece, I feel the need to recommend literally anything by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.
You can buy the quintessential We Should All Be Feminists here:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/We-Should-All-Be-Feminists/dp/0008115273
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